Live in relationships - are they a threat to the institution of marriage?
In recent years there has been a remarkable increase in the number of people opting for living-in relationships instead of marriages. Though this trend has been popular in western countries for a long time now, it is catching up in India as well with more and more couples choosing to live in, because of the space, choice and personal freedom it gives them. It might be immensely appealing to young people of today, leading hectic and stressful lives and do not have the time or patience to deal with all the emotional issues that a marriage entails. Apart from the space it gives, there is no problem of surrendering rights or obligations in a live-in relationship. The partners are pretty clear about what they are in for, and if the relationship does not work out, they can leave anytime. There are no legal or financial complications involved unlike a marriage, where splitting up is not so easy. But even in a live in relationship, the situation becomes more complex if children are involved. since there is no binding relationship betweem the partners, the issue of taking up responsibility for bringing up the children gets more comlicated. Since there is no emotional security offered, it becomes difficult to sustain a long term relationship and there is a high risk of breaking up. The moment couples hit a rough patch, they find it easier to split than make efforts to make the relationship work.
Though marriages also have their pros and cons, no relationship enjoys the social and legal recognition as a marriage does. The obvious merits of a marriage are the emotional commitment and the support that the partners have for each other. Since a marriage is protected by law, couples expect loyalty and fidelity from each other.Further, marriage is an incentive to develop staying power in a relationship. There is a lot of emotinal investment in the relationship. Though marriages also have their ups and downs with an increasing number of couples going for divorces in recent years, when it comes to commitment and security, no relationship can match a marriage. It is a bond that can last a lifetime.
One development that has caught everyone's attention in recent times has been the ammendment to section 125 of CRPC propsed by The National Commission for Women to include women involved in live- in relationships to be eligible for alimony from their live-in partners.Granting women involved in live-in relationships, a right to claim alimony is a serious insult of the most sacrosanct social institution, as in India, a marriage is a solemnised vow to support each other through thick and thin taken in the presence of community elders and with their blessings, but, in contrast, a livein relationship is initiated by the couple just as a means to stay together. But unlike marriage, the commitment factor in a live in relationship is very low as the ties are very easy to break and there are no liabilities involved from either side.
There is no denying that live in relationships are proving to be extremely popular, particularly among educated urban classes, for whom living in is a declaration of independence, as a way of keeping away from the restrictions and inequalities of institutionalised marriages.But a live-in relationship can never replace marriage. It can never offer the kind of security and emotional fulfilment that a marriage does.Marriage- it is a word that makes some jittery and yet there are others who still believe in the sanctity of such a union and respect it. It?s been a few years since the concept of ?live-in? got introduced to our society and even though the Supreme Court may have granted the relationship all legalities equivalent to that of a marriage, our society may still not be ready to welcome it with open arms.
It is hard to deny a fact that in a country like ours, family plays a huge role and marriage seemingly is the stepping stone or rather the foundation of nurturing this concept. The reason why marriage has been and still is to a certain extent, a popular institution is because it provides an individual with companionship, security and stability in life. Marriage, as argued lends a sense of responsibility in life. But the traditional arguments and beliefs have not been able to restrain the current fast paced generation from finding a convenient solution. ?Live-in?, a concept initially viewed as one of the adverse affects of westernization has now carved a niche in some strata of the society. It is no more a mere rebellious statement made by young adults but a mature decision. Some people feel that there is no harm in a live-in relationship if it is a prelude to marriage, as it helps one to know the better half better. Though such a relationship or an arrangement has always been under the ethical radar and vigil of moral police, these days it is just a matter of saving money. For many, Live-in relationship is the preference because it is time to change and evolve with the changing times, though it might seem socially incorrect.
It might offer one space, help us understand our companion more but at the end of the day, many who are not against the idea of live-in still feel marriage is their first or rather only preference. Even though such practices are not alien to our history and our present, the fact remains, that as a society for the general middle class population, living without a customary authorization isn?t and wouldn?t be acceptable for a long time to come.So marriage is a must.Besides there is also the opinion that some one who opts for a live-in might get bored or satisfied and leave for no concrete reason. However in case of a marriage people at least try to work it out.
The pros and cons of both arrangements have always been before us. For those who believe live-in is a cultural violation, it would never gain respect and for those who are moving with the times, it is the perfect arrangement. Either ways the choice is ours . Like it?s said, ?Nothing is right or wrong: Thinking makes it so?, if you feel you can?t handle the responsibility, the apparent monotonous tone of married life and you need space, freedom, live-in is the answer. And the debate of which is a better deal, still continues though a live-in relationship can never be a threat to an age old institution like marriage. In the end, whatever relationship one chooses, it should be an arrangement where interests of both the partners are kept in mind and there is an understanding and commitment between the two.It is just a matter of perception, one can take a marriage as a live-in arrangement or have a live-in like marriage.
Sowmya
